We are what we think; all that we are, arises with our thoughts; with our thoughts, we make the world.

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78 Responses to Why teachers drink

  • A student of mine told me that the following conversation took place in her world history class:

    Boy: I don’t get why everyone always makes such a big deal about Obama being the first black president. I mean, everybody always forgets about Abraham Lincoln.

    Yes, true story!

  • One little 7 year old boy proudly told me that America bought Alaska from the Russians for just two cents and one anchor. Distracted, I replied, the Russians must really have needed an anchor. THEN I snapped out of it, realizing that he had misunderstood…. It was purchased for two cents an acre!

  • Today in class:

    Teacher: Where was the Battle of the Atlantic fought?
    Student: (very proud that she knows the right answer) Atlanta!!!

  • Question: What is the term used for the first person to die for their faith?

    Answer: Dead!

  • Answer to a question in a Religious Education exam. Question? What do you understand by the term converted.
    Answer: When you kick the ball over the bar and between the posts you get two points in rugby this is called a conversion

  • Teacher: (lesson about explorers) Who introduced chocolate from the “New World” to the “Old World”?

    Student: Willy Wonka!

  • I was discussing World War II with my 8th graders and one of them raised his hand and asked why we only ever learned about Europe and America in these wars. I thought he was getting to a really important point about Euro-centrism, and told him he was right.
    His response: Yeah, its weird. Why didn’t anyone from Antarctica fight in the war?

  • I got one

    What is Chicken Teriyaki?

    Answer: The last surviving Japanese Kamikazi pilot

  • I have an example to add:
    Which one doesn’t belong:
    tractor haystack barn skyscraper

    This is a quick one for me, but I got the following answers with explanation:
    haystack- its the only one you can’t go in or on
    tractor- its the only one with wheels
    barn- its the only one animals use

    You would assume skyscraper is the clear choice because it doesn’t belong on a farm, but applause is necessary for my fabulous first graders who are thinking outside the box!

  • I’m a teacher and I LOVE these answers. I enjoy listening to the explanations my students will give for their SEEMINGLY incorrect answers. I tell my students that if they can prove it, or argue it, then they deserve the credit! My students are first graders- their thoughts are all fabulous, no matter if I understand it or not. Teachers generally DON’T forget how to laugh… otherwise we wouldn’t still be teaching!

  • A teacher asked a class how can overgrazing be controlled in Africa?

    A boy answered Cows who overgraze on farmlands should be arrested.

  • I had student the other day answer the following:

    Q: What would have happened if slavery had not ended?
    A: We would have run out of people in Africa.

  • ive got one. the question was: what were the chief threats to the ancient americans? one response was: one chief killing another one.

  • Question: Why does the President of the United States have a Cabinet?

    Answer: To keep stuff!

  • Thanks for the joke. I will post it.

  • I got the link from a colleague and thought, well, another of those links but clicked on it anyways and soon had a broad smile on my face. I showed the page around in the staff room and the laughters were loud and full of joy. Yeah, this is what teaching life is like …sometimes, at least.
    Kids will be kids, like the British say… ;-)

  • A friend asked her teenage son to empty the grass catcher from the lawn mower after she had finished mowing. He emptied it on the lawn.

    You know her Barry. When Gwyn was young we had hamburger gravy on mashed potatoes for dinner. I was poor. I said eat up or we’ll have shit on a shingle for breakfast. She said looks like shit on cloud for dinner.

    While shopping for hair shampoo, same era she wanted the the $8.00 shampoo Vidal Sassoon. I asked what’s wrong with the .89 cent stuff I buy. She said look what it did to you dad. If you remember Barry, I’m bald. OK Gwyn you won.

    Sometimes kids make no sence at all until you listen to them, but always fun.

    Mike

  • These kids may have been aleep during class, but they are thinking while taking the test, lol. Their parents should be proud, seriously!

  • Years ago I had a test question that one of my 5th grade students answered in the following way

    Q: Why did Alexander Grahm Bell invent the telephone?
    A: He was tired of yelling out the window.

  • Almost makes me wish I were teaching again…note: the operative word is ALMOST. Thanks for the smiles…

  • These are great! The Romeo answer is pretty accurate though. It’s the reason why as an actor I’ve never been interested in playing him. Even if you disagree I think it proves the student was paying attention.

  • Good knowledge comes from observing the reality. The discovering should be discussed amongst students and findings verified if possible. Next is to admit the theorem the students just made from discussions, and continue to work intuitive in order to reach new levels. This way people doesn’t need to stuff themselves with abstract nonsense. They can create understandings in conjunction with the explored knowledge.

  • The (presumably) student answers in the original post are really hilarious. A good mix of
    ‘keen sense of the obvious’ answers,
    answers to a question’s unintended ambiguities,
    probably a good bit of smarting off by students who’ve given up,
    salted with misspellings, homonyms, and rampant confabulation!

    perhaps also telling are the misspellings and grammar problems in the comments from former teachers above.
    (must be all that drinking…)

  • Great! They’re all wonderful!

  • … that happens all over the world. God made it that way…obviously :-)))

  • This is excellent! Thank you for sharing.. And I guess they drink because they forgot how to laugh..

  • So, now you know why I only teach on Saturday’s, I need the rest of the week to recover. LOL

  • Wow, this totally makes me want to do some FOREX trading.

    Way to bump up the SEO on your crappy advertisement site.

    A lot of work for clicks that won’t convert.